I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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