i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
