he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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