My nipple is on Facebook.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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