Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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