I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
