I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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