Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
