The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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