Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
