also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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