She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
