try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The power of my boobs compel you
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
