meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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