i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
