do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
