And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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