Whod you bang
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
