I hate your face
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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