so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
