Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
