Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize