yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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