Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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