Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
