Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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