just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
