She's JV to your varsity
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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