Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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