so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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