I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
