she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
