when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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