i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
