420 ftw
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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