Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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