Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
