and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
