It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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