Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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