somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We talked him into tasing himself.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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