gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Please don't give away my fajitas
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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