when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize