his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
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Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All the doctor said was why
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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