Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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