I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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