It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
