I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
