In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
nutella sex= disaster
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
