Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
