so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As shirtless as possible
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
