I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
