I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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