i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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