Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
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I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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