Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
