if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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