oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
