It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
