Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
