I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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