After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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